Orchestrate your feedback!
The higher you climb, the less honest feedback you receive. It’s your responsibility to actively orchestrate feedback from your people and stakeholders — silence at the top is the most dangerous signal.
The higher you rise, the fewer people will tell you the truth—unless you make it safer to be honest than to be silent.
Who tells you what you need to hear? When you are working in the C-suite, you hear less and less of what your people really think of you and your decisions.
Key takeaways
- You need to actively orchestrate your own feedback by inviting it regularly, rewarding the risk people take, and simply saying thank you when they step forward with honesty.
- Leaders who openly share their own vulnerabilities set the tone for their teams, making it much more likely that others will reciprocate with genuine feedback and insights.
- Your best feedback often comes from a diverse group of stakeholders—including your board, peers, family, and a trusted executive coach—so make it a habit to seek their perspectives consistently.
Time and time again history proves how power can corrupt and how difficult it is to stay in touch with the people you are leading. How can you continue to really listen and to accept feedback?
The problem with the hierarchy
I’ve experienced it myself at a small scale during my years in the corporate world. And I’m sure that most of you have similar experiences. Once you are ‘the boss’, most people who are lower in the hierarchy start to behave differently when they are with you. The number of people that continue to be completely open with you is small. Many want to keep you happy. Some are afraid to make you angry. Everyone wants to be seen as successful, wants to win and make a career. True or false, many ‘feel’ that you make the decisions that can influence this.
Of course, since you became the big boss, you are not perfect suddenly! Trust me, your jokes did not become better overnight. It’s just not the only reason people are laughing! Like it or not, you need to realize that you are successful, despite some of your behaviors and decisions. So, how do you make sure that you continue to hear what you need to hear?
Four suggestions to orchestrate your feedback:
Continue to invite people to give you feedback. And when they do, just say thank you. Remember, your people take a risk when they give you feedback. It’s more effective to reward the risk taking and encourage them to continue to do it.
Open yourself up in front of your people. People copy the boss! It’s simple: when you open up, they open up!
Ask for feedback from your stakeholders! Whether it’s your board, your partner, your children or your CEO. Not once, but regularly.
Work with an executive coach. Someone trusted, experienced, who can handle you, your ‘ceo whisperer’, your soundboard, who is able to provide you with feedback and tools. But it should be someone that is outside of your hierarchy.
Staying in touch with reality is critical to continue to be successful. You need at least a couple of people around you that continue to tell you what you need to hear, and not necessarily what you want to hear. No matter how senior you are as a boss.
It’s your responsibility to orchestrate this. And your most expensive mistake is to use your power to let everyone around you keep quiet. When it’s too quiet, you should really watch out.
Power distances grow in silence, but great leaders shrink them by inviting, rewarding, and acting on real feedback—because only those who listen bravely can lead wisely.
Over to you.